Rumor has it you are hosting an extremely large party tomorrow morning, and it just so happens that a few of my friends are on the VIP list. Having experienced your hospitality for the first time on this very weekend 7 years ago, I have come up with a list of requests that I hope you take into consideration to make this day as special as it was for me.
- Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be pretty tight with Mother Nature. Please keep her in your good graces for the next twenty-four hours so she provides ideal conditions for the party guests. Something along the lines of a sun shining high in the sky and brisk temperatures at the 7:30 a.m. start that only slowly increases as the day draws on would be clutch. Suggest to her that she can keep her high humidity, scorching temperatures, rain, snow, sleet, hail and howling winds for another day.
- You know that cute little group that sits in chairs along Broad Street somewhere between mile 1 and 2? I believe they are alumni from THE Ohio State University. You should definitely invite them to be decked out in their finest scarlet and gray, and be sure they bring their instruments to provide your guests with tons of entertaining songs. “Hang on Sloopy” should definitely be on their playlist.
- I hope you alerted residents of Bexley about your party plans. I distinctly remember multiple families huddled in the front yards of their gorgeous homes with warm cups of coffee and plenty of smiles and cheers to share when I was on the VIP list in 2004, 2006 and 2008. You can never have too many enthusiastic supporters, even so close the start of your party.
- The foresight to include German Village in your festivities would be a major bonus for your guests. I can’t even put into words the energy and excitement that pours out of the residents, especially those stationed at Schiller Park. German Village is one of your best attributes Columbus, don’t be afraid to flaunt it.
- South High Street will definitely be out to play, I can’t imagine this event without it. But might I suggest you try to get some of that energy to overflow and extend to the northern section? It gets a little lonely on North High Street en route to THE Ohio State University campus. Just a thought.
- Please, please, please tell me you alerted the amazing inhabitants of Upper Arlington of the hopes for your party. This is a very important section for your guests. At this point your guests of honor may start to get down in spirits, and the excitement felt earlier in the day may begin to disappear. They will need the encouragement from this section of your city like you could not imagine. This would be a very appropriate portion of the party to feature cowbells, brightly colored signs and “The Eye of the Tiger” blaring from stereo speakers.
- Victorian Village, another of your gems is included in the schedule of events, right? I sure hope so. It would be a shame to leave them out of such an epic celebration. Just be sure to properly prepare the residents that they need to match the level of intensity and enthusiasm that Upper Arlington provided, as once the VIP’s reach this point in the celebration they need to get their second wind to pull them through to the closing ceremony.
- Nationwide Boulevard, yep, I’m talking to you. I don’t even have to ask if you were included on the agenda, it would be a waste of a day if you were left out. You have what is most likely the toughest job of the day. Logistically you need lots of space to house the support crews of your guests of honor so that they can jump up and down, scream, clap and cheer for their VIPs. Don’t skimp on that. The support crews understand that there is only so much room in the actual party before it reaches capacity, so they aren’t upset that they didn’t get to partake in all of the festivities, especially since you allow them to come and witness the final stage of the celebration. Such a nice touch, a truly fabulous idea. You also have the luxury of providing refreshments and you know how much guests love to eat. Might I suggest a buffet of carbohydrates: bananas, bagels, orange slices, pretzels. All you really need to offer as far as beverages go would be water and gatorade. Don’t fret about the fare not being fancy enough, your guests will be extremely grateful for anything solid and edible at this point in the day. Trust me. Also, I think this would be the proper place to hand out thank you gifts to your attendees. You know, something to show your appreciation for not only attending your fabulous party, but sticking it out until the end that they can cherish for years to come. I was thinking the gift should be something durable, perhaps crafted from medal. You certainly want to make sure that it contains an inscription of the day’s date, and the name of the party. You could even dress it up with some sort of decorative ribbon. Yes, yes I think that would be practically perfect in every way.